Unless I decide to spend an unforeseen amount of money tomorrow, or if I decide to go out tonight--which is sitting at a comfortable 50% chance right now--it would look like my monthly spending has come to its total and it once again is slightly over $900.
And again that still feels like way too much for me to be spending, especially considering that I've managed to remain without a car, which alone saves me almost $300 a month. Picturing myself spending almost $1200 a month with those car expenditures seems even more lavish, if not almost too expensive even.
But once I remind myself--and my don't I need to constantly do that for myself?--that while my goal here is to generally do as much nothing as possible, it's specifically to spend under an average of $1000 a month for an entire year. And not only am I successfully carrying out that goal at the moment, an average of $900 a month calculates out to a mere $10,800 over the course of the year.
And while that may sound like nearly a million dollars to a third world resident--though I do not mean to speak for someone I have never met--in terms relative to my home and its financial standards of living I am far from living a lavish or even, statistically speaking, a comfortable lifestyle.
But yet, that's the very joke of it. For I am living as comfortably as I ever have. I always have enough money to satisfy my occasional consumer impulse and have even continued to save money for yet another possible trip across country or to give up work altogether for a few more months in the near future.
I don't know where this internal pressure I'm always putting on myself comes from, but once I put it into these terms and relate them to my surroundings, they seems all too pointlessly burdensome if not ridiculously unnecessary.
Though so too does the idea of having any more money than I already have.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Cloud Cover
I don't whether or not it's the impending weather change that suddenly has me talking about weather and weather related things, but yesterday I once again noticed that an awe inspiring imposing wall formation of clouds that seemed to stretch for miles inland was noticeable from the 290.
They appear to be just about far enough from my viewpoint that it would make sense that they are the clouds just coming off of Lake Erie just south of the city. I don't know how I never noticed this great view before I left, but this was the second time I've noticed this since I've gotten back and will be one I will continue to look for now whenever I have the chance.
Thankfully, the first time I saw them, my roommate snapped a pic of the view:
(photo by D. Magee)
They appear to be just about far enough from my viewpoint that it would make sense that they are the clouds just coming off of Lake Erie just south of the city. I don't know how I never noticed this great view before I left, but this was the second time I've noticed this since I've gotten back and will be one I will continue to look for now whenever I have the chance.
Thankfully, the first time I saw them, my roommate snapped a pic of the view:
(photo by D. Magee)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Bills due...
Watching football is about as collective as this country gets in doing nothing together. (Or anything for that matter.) Rather than play our own pick up games or participate in any event that we can directly influence and are more than just a spectator in, we stand unified in saying that we would simply rather sit around and drink beer and watch others have the fun.
And while I would rather play my own pick up games, I do like the sound of hanging out and drinking beers with the possibility to crack each other up for at least three hours just as much. If not more.
And so, even though this Bills team is godfuckingawful (and I get shit for saying that) and I vowed to stop scheduling my entire Sunday around their games, I was nevertheless baited once again this past Sunday into watching them "play" all because of my addiction to said hanging out (our house is the central locale for Bills' road game get togethers).
It almost makes me long again for a town like Portland where if I did watch a Bills loss it would be over by 1pm and I had the entire day to reclaim those three wasted (pun intended) hours because I wasn't surrounded by an entire disappointed fan base.
Portland or Buffalo. Pluses and minuses. You win some and you lose some.
Except in Bills games. Then everyone loses.
Goddamnit.
And while I would rather play my own pick up games, I do like the sound of hanging out and drinking beers with the possibility to crack each other up for at least three hours just as much. If not more.
And so, even though this Bills team is godfuckingawful (and I get shit for saying that) and I vowed to stop scheduling my entire Sunday around their games, I was nevertheless baited once again this past Sunday into watching them "play" all because of my addiction to said hanging out (our house is the central locale for Bills' road game get togethers).
It almost makes me long again for a town like Portland where if I did watch a Bills loss it would be over by 1pm and I had the entire day to reclaim those three wasted (pun intended) hours because I wasn't surrounded by an entire disappointed fan base.
Portland or Buffalo. Pluses and minuses. You win some and you lose some.
Except in Bills games. Then everyone loses.
Goddamnit.
Blowin' in the Wind
If Buffalo wasn't already so self-conscious about it's weather reputation--not to mention the inevitable lawsuits that Buffalonians would certainly level against any signs of such change--I would suggest it should do it's best to rightfully claim for itself the title of "The Windy City" from Chicago.
I already knew that statistically speaking Buffalo is windier, but this has also been something that I've noticed the entire time I've been back, especially on bike. It seems that it is windy almost all of the time here. And not just breezy, but actually windy.
It certainly helps keep the air moving on yet another unseasonably warm day like today (unless you live on the east side of a duplex that faces north and south) but you can't prepare for how sharp it's going to get in the winter. Probably a lot worse in wind chill factor than Chicago.
As to why Buffalo is afraid to embrace anything that allows it to claim any sort of distinction, even if is supposedly bad whether (you really couldn't spin that into a positive in any way? How Buffalonian to be so easily defeated!), I would be surprised and confused about if only I needed to look no further than everywhere to see just how alike each of us is and just how negatively most react to even the slightest observed difference, if not an altogether supposed defect, we see in others.
As the old adage goes something like, I am the only one who can allow myself to be embarrassed. It's too bad Buffalo seems so embarrassed about being a cold weather city. Strange, but certainly human. But, whatever, let Buffalo continue to deny it's windy and cold reality. I however know it's best to ride a bike towards the east and preferably during the summer around here.
I already knew that statistically speaking Buffalo is windier, but this has also been something that I've noticed the entire time I've been back, especially on bike. It seems that it is windy almost all of the time here. And not just breezy, but actually windy.
It certainly helps keep the air moving on yet another unseasonably warm day like today (unless you live on the east side of a duplex that faces north and south) but you can't prepare for how sharp it's going to get in the winter. Probably a lot worse in wind chill factor than Chicago.
As to why Buffalo is afraid to embrace anything that allows it to claim any sort of distinction, even if is supposedly bad whether (you really couldn't spin that into a positive in any way? How Buffalonian to be so easily defeated!), I would be surprised and confused about if only I needed to look no further than everywhere to see just how alike each of us is and just how negatively most react to even the slightest observed difference, if not an altogether supposed defect, we see in others.
As the old adage goes something like, I am the only one who can allow myself to be embarrassed. It's too bad Buffalo seems so embarrassed about being a cold weather city. Strange, but certainly human. But, whatever, let Buffalo continue to deny it's windy and cold reality. I however know it's best to ride a bike towards the east and preferably during the summer around here.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Giving Directions (The Nothing that We Do)
On the bike ride I just took to go get some sleeping juice (aka a 40oz)--a ride and purchase that were spurred on by all my talk about breaking today's routine--a driver asked me for directions.
For whatever reason, probably just some awful combination of knowing that I know something that someone else doesn't and the narcissistic feeling that I get in helping people (all help is like that, right Brandon?), there is little that comes up randomly in a day that I love more than giving directions.
And yet, how many people are able to help with such a basic thing as knowing the streets around them? How many people can point out east/where the direction the sun rises right now? How many know the quickest way to the thruway from where they are? In my experience, not too many. And while they might argue otherwise, it's not because it's something that people are incapable of picking up on without a lot of practice.
Obviously, there are things other people think are obvious that I am unaware of (I'm being modest of course) it's just that it seems to me that knowing one's way around is a very valuable piece of knowledge if not also, unfortunately, all too uncommon.
Still, I'm willing to bet that that driver was thankful that I had developed the pointless accumulation of knowledge of Buffalo's street grid that will never get me a new house or a fortune to retire upon but one that nevertheless can, and did, help two people's nights feel just a little better.
For whatever reason, probably just some awful combination of knowing that I know something that someone else doesn't and the narcissistic feeling that I get in helping people (all help is like that, right Brandon?), there is little that comes up randomly in a day that I love more than giving directions.
And yet, how many people are able to help with such a basic thing as knowing the streets around them? How many people can point out east/where the direction the sun rises right now? How many know the quickest way to the thruway from where they are? In my experience, not too many. And while they might argue otherwise, it's not because it's something that people are incapable of picking up on without a lot of practice.
Obviously, there are things other people think are obvious that I am unaware of (I'm being modest of course) it's just that it seems to me that knowing one's way around is a very valuable piece of knowledge if not also, unfortunately, all too uncommon.
Still, I'm willing to bet that that driver was thankful that I had developed the pointless accumulation of knowledge of Buffalo's street grid that will never get me a new house or a fortune to retire upon but one that nevertheless can, and did, help two people's nights feel just a little better.
Does This Bus Get Off at 82nd Street?
That said (re: the previous post), the bus rides home have given me a new, if not odd, reattachment to the city of Buffalo itself.
Most of my experience in public transportation has been in using it in other cities. In using it in my hometown for a change, it gives me that feeling of being somewhere new, someplace not altogether known to me. By no means is Buffalo ever going to be fully known to me (only a routine mindset would argue otherwise). And just by finding something that proves this point has been somewhat liberating.
As well, now, rather than riding a bike alone amidst enclosed cars I am personally exposed to the others around me. Even if no interaction takes place between them and I it is still a situation that enables the possibility of that personal routine to be broken. Not to mention one can always over hear conversations and those eternal laughs like the women across from me on the bus yesterday.
And lo and behold, I’ve even yet to be mugged or assaulted. In the city no less!
Perhaps a very romantic view of the situation, but one that has helped alleviate that routine that has been haunting me and given me the necessary boost to get me to be ready to consciously break that routine even more.
Most of my experience in public transportation has been in using it in other cities. In using it in my hometown for a change, it gives me that feeling of being somewhere new, someplace not altogether known to me. By no means is Buffalo ever going to be fully known to me (only a routine mindset would argue otherwise). And just by finding something that proves this point has been somewhat liberating.
As well, now, rather than riding a bike alone amidst enclosed cars I am personally exposed to the others around me. Even if no interaction takes place between them and I it is still a situation that enables the possibility of that personal routine to be broken. Not to mention one can always over hear conversations and those eternal laughs like the women across from me on the bus yesterday.
And lo and behold, I’ve even yet to be mugged or assaulted. In the city no less!
Perhaps a very romantic view of the situation, but one that has helped alleviate that routine that has been haunting me and given me the necessary boost to get me to be ready to consciously break that routine even more.
Labor Days
I cannot believe that September is already half over.
And that fall is only a few days away.
Nor can I believe that I’ve only posted eight times this months.
Time flies when you’re caught in routines.
Everyday I get up at seven.
But now, rather than getting to work via bicycle, I catch a ride with my friend Andy to work. And just having someone who is in a relatively similar boat as I am—he’s only working to save up and quit his job again next month—helps alleviate the otherwise stressful disdain I hold for work and reminds me that I am not the only one who is going to work every morning. Not to mention that I no longer have to worry everyday whether or not my bike will go flat.
Every night I go to bed at midnight or thereabouts.
And now at the end of every work day, due to our unstable workday schedules that makes me getting a ride home too much of a pain, I catch a bus ride home. And suddenly my entire day is much more at ease. For one, because the busses I can take home only come once an hour, there is little difference between 4:45 and 5:15 (both will get me the same bus) and thus time becomes less of a pressing thing: there is nothing I can do to make the bus come earlier or make it get me home any faster.
But I have consciously allowed myself to be in this position of routine.
Also, with such waiting times looming, I come prepared with a book to read while both waiting as well as riding and so have managed to bring an otherwise neglected as of late hobby back into my daily routine.
If it is routine that I despise so much about the workday, is it at least possible to alleviate that routine so that it is, even within the strict pillars of my times of sleep, not so predominate?
Still, at the end of each day, I find myself not riding my bike as much. As well, other things that I had set out to do in returning to Buffalo, or just little things to mix my days up a bit, such as taking more bike rides through the neighborhoods or hanging out with my friends every night have gone largely neglected. Hell, I’ve even been drinking less on the weeknights.
Even giving our tired bodies is a routine. If not the basis of most of it.
I understand I get into ruts here and there. Quite routinely actually. And I understand that I will not be able to go completely without working at the time. Still, I have my eyes set on working until I am comfortably set with enough savings to do so.
Routine thinking is also very evident in my day-to-day routine.
The important thing is to be sure to break out of these ruts and routine ways of thinking as quickly as possible and, if not immediately, to make sure they still do not dominate my entire day. To make such breaks takes a constant conscious effort. Because I've failed to do so lately, it is once again my intention to make sure to do something everyday that, even if it is the minutest detail, does not subscribe to such routine that keeps me from doing nothing.
Less I find myself suddenly a year from now again wondering where the latest September went and awaiting the routine of yet another seasonal change with no change to show for it myself.
And that fall is only a few days away.
Nor can I believe that I’ve only posted eight times this months.
Time flies when you’re caught in routines.
Everyday I get up at seven.
But now, rather than getting to work via bicycle, I catch a ride with my friend Andy to work. And just having someone who is in a relatively similar boat as I am—he’s only working to save up and quit his job again next month—helps alleviate the otherwise stressful disdain I hold for work and reminds me that I am not the only one who is going to work every morning. Not to mention that I no longer have to worry everyday whether or not my bike will go flat.
Every night I go to bed at midnight or thereabouts.
And now at the end of every work day, due to our unstable workday schedules that makes me getting a ride home too much of a pain, I catch a bus ride home. And suddenly my entire day is much more at ease. For one, because the busses I can take home only come once an hour, there is little difference between 4:45 and 5:15 (both will get me the same bus) and thus time becomes less of a pressing thing: there is nothing I can do to make the bus come earlier or make it get me home any faster.
But I have consciously allowed myself to be in this position of routine.
Also, with such waiting times looming, I come prepared with a book to read while both waiting as well as riding and so have managed to bring an otherwise neglected as of late hobby back into my daily routine.
If it is routine that I despise so much about the workday, is it at least possible to alleviate that routine so that it is, even within the strict pillars of my times of sleep, not so predominate?
Still, at the end of each day, I find myself not riding my bike as much. As well, other things that I had set out to do in returning to Buffalo, or just little things to mix my days up a bit, such as taking more bike rides through the neighborhoods or hanging out with my friends every night have gone largely neglected. Hell, I’ve even been drinking less on the weeknights.
Even giving our tired bodies is a routine. If not the basis of most of it.
I understand I get into ruts here and there. Quite routinely actually. And I understand that I will not be able to go completely without working at the time. Still, I have my eyes set on working until I am comfortably set with enough savings to do so.
Routine thinking is also very evident in my day-to-day routine.
The important thing is to be sure to break out of these ruts and routine ways of thinking as quickly as possible and, if not immediately, to make sure they still do not dominate my entire day. To make such breaks takes a constant conscious effort. Because I've failed to do so lately, it is once again my intention to make sure to do something everyday that, even if it is the minutest detail, does not subscribe to such routine that keeps me from doing nothing.
Less I find myself suddenly a year from now again wondering where the latest September went and awaiting the routine of yet another seasonal change with no change to show for it myself.
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