Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Tonight's Bike Ride, Part I: Any Road

With the continuation of summer that we are experiencing here in Buffalo I made the most of it tonight by taking an unplanned bike ride with no destination in sight.

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts running through my mind lately and a body in motion calms the mind.

The bike ride took me through some of the North Buffalo neighborhoods. It was a little after eight o’clock and there was still enough traffic and noise to remind me that I wasn’t in the suburbs though the houses and wide streets in the area certainly suggested the possibility. For a brief second I thought that, were I in the market as a homeowner—and my how I laughed at the idea of picturing myself being one, if not more than a little frightened that one day I will probably concede defeat and find myself begrudgingly mowing my lawn on a Sunday morning (because if you think I’m going to pay someone to do something that I can do myself you must be fucking crazy!)—this would be the sort of neighborhood that I would look for a home in.

But looking for a home is the very thing that someone who is doing something with their life would do. And I, a no one wishing to do nothing with his life, want nothing to do with that. At least not now.

In fact, many of my thoughts lately have dwelled on what I my next move is going to be.

I have been more than happy to be back in Buffalo. And I still have a lot of things to do that I wished to do in moving back. But at the same time it has also come to a point where it’s feeling a little weird being back here too. Perhaps some nouns—or people, places and things if I was taught correctly—that I found in Portland are missed more than I thought they would be; perhaps the idea that there are so many other nouns to be discovered everywhere; or perhaps even the idea of doing nothing only in Buffalo sounds static enough to me that I have begun weighing my options.

And thus, I keep working so as to have those options.

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