I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me...

If food and bills will be my biggest expenses, then alcohol will fill out the top three. If there’s any honest reason why I have no desire to completely remove myself from society and “go live in the woods” it would have to be because where there are people there is alcohol (and where there is alcohol there are people) and, certainly, where there aren’t, there isn’t (and where there isn’t, there often aren’t; at least not the type of people I enjoy being around). And both foolishly I know, but I like them both. I just can't help myself.

Not that I couldn’t make my own (booze) I suppose. Hell, I’m already back on the Steel Reserve diet—at least until someone back West, probably a bum, sends me some damn Camos—and no matter how bad homemade booze is it really couldn’t be that much worse could—Yes, actually, yes it could. Because Steel Reserves aren’t really that bad. Honestly. And I’m not just saying that as a person on a budget who stubbornly believes that a “young at heart” mindset is worth keeping always. Really.

So far this month, due in large part to a bachelor’s party that I had to attend—holidays, birthdays, etc will surely come up again and be dealt with in more detail—and last Thursday In the Square’s Sam Roberts show and the resulting night of going from the square to some of Buffalo’s finest bars like Mohawk Place, The Golden Swan, Founding Father’s Pub, Gabriel’s Gate and then The Pink, I’ve spent more on alcohol so far this month, $67.74, than I have on food, $54.71. Sparing one the exuberant list of quotations in support of alcohol ranging from Benjamin Franklin, to Tom Waits, to Homer Simpson, I will simply but firmly state that I have no intentions of changing this habit any time soon, if at all or ever, and feel no further need to justify myself.

(I’d be willing to bet, even if unwilling to do the research myself to support the claim, that far more people—even respectable people!—do the same than the general public would initially guess or maybe even like to think.)

In going out one will almost always find himself, when amongst good company (and I’ve always managed to find myself lucky enough to be around some of the best), on the beneficiary end of a free drink or shot. When discussing this project to spend as little as possible with my friend Pat, we discussed the grey area free meals, drinks and the likes create and how one in my position should include the benefits of hospitality.

We both agreed that I should at the very least keep as accurate a count as possible—and anyone who has drank in Buffalo knows exactly how inaccurate that count will immediately be—of the free drinks given to me. The argument going that I could go without those drinks being bought for me so they will not count against my spending; I did not ask nor beg for them, they were given to me. At the same time, since I am receiving something for nothing, it would be nice to at least note that someone, having previously done some work themselves, did something for me while I was attempting to do nothing myself. Quite obvious really.

The current count of free drinks that I have been given, not counting the abundant amount at the wedding, is 16, which, at this point, is working out to more than one a day.

But, for example, in the instances of my friend Fuzz’ wedding last week or my cousin Jake’s grad party the next day, it is a social agreement that, in showing up, one will eat and drink on someone else’s bill. Still, in bringing the all but expected gift—or in the case of the wedding, using the custom to have a year to present a present, much to my present disadvantage’s advantage—an exchange is nevertheless made that would otherwise not have been made. Therefore, those drinks or meals will not count against my spending, but what I spend on the gifts will. Just as well, any rounds of drinks that I would buy for my friends I will count towards my own spending.

Though, as one might imagine, such spending is currently at $0.00. And since none of the good company I am surrounded by has ostracized me for this fact, I’d have to say I’ve at the very least proved myself no liar in previously saying that I have always been lucky enough to always be surrounded by some of the best company.

Still no surprise to me as to why it was I came back to Buffalo really.