Truth Boils Over

The truth boiled over yesterday.

The job that I have been working, with hours that vary on a day to day basis depending upon volume of and distance between pickups, for a place nine miles away from my house on a bus route that sees service only once an hour has not only taken far too much of my time but taken even more of my energy.

Every job I've had in recent memory looking back, has hat at least one aspect that wasn't completely unredeemable: The Buff St job office job—hopefully the last of those I'll ever have—did require I have a car and I did work with one of the most overbearing, nosey and demeaning coworkers I’ve had the displeasure of knowing, but it was always an 8-4 job and was no more than three miles from my house; the delivery job I had in Portland did demand a lot of overtime, but I worked with friends my age and was close enough to home that as soon as I was done I could get on my bike and leave; and even a job I had at FedEx that I commuted 35-40 minutes from Lockport for and had the most miserable workers I hopefully will ever see at least, once again, had hours set in stone.

As for my current job, I show up early everyday (because my ride works this early) and no matter how efficiently I perform the daily tasks, find myself in a constant nerve-wrecking race against the company’s willingness to take orders no matter how late or out of the way they might be—nothing personal of course to the worker, just business—just to get back for a bus that if I miss by one minute adds another 59 to my day.

Obviously I have a thing against any kind of job. Based on my low needs for money, there is no such things as a low paying job to me, though, likewise, probably no good paying job either. Still, I can go without completely abhorring the act as well. After all, I willingly admit that I need a job to remain social. Ideally I’d like a part time job that I could support myself with, or at least a full time job that I can count on leaving at a reliable time everyday. At this point even, I’d take a job that, even if the work fluctuates , would allow my efficiency to be rewarded and could leave when done.

This job has offered none of those things. The number of times I’ve sat around early in the day only to be busy at the end of the day is a weekly occurrence at least, the number of times I’ve had to turn around at the end of the day to go out for a run that adds 60-90 minutes on the end of my day are not as frequent but more memorable. Sometimes things get so out of hand and annoying that I see more dignity in asking for change or returning cans from the garbage than being at the consistent mercy of customer’s orders, warehouse incompetence and owner’s willingness to do anything for one order.

Ultimately I know this comes back on me and my willingness to compromise for work—just look at what I wrote above by even taking a job as shitty as one that would always fluctuate but might allow a minor reward for efficiency.

While I’ve saved a good amount of money from this job, I’ve cheated myself, once again, out of free time and moods that I am in more direct control of. If I’ll ever learn from this is to be seen. It seems I keep finding myself in such compromising situations. If I’ll ever find myself in the right job situation I doubt but I can at least hope to handle it a little better in the future, as it seems that I’ve also done in the past. Lastly, with free time now on the horizon, it’ll be up to me to retrospectively justify and rectify the time and money saved worth my while.

The truth of that will soon enough boil over as well.

The truth always boils over.